Single Mom for a week- good or bad??

Posted on February 10, 2012 by Reena

Though I’m blessed with a stable marriage, my husband travels quite a bit leaving me as an occasional single parent.  This can be hard work since all duties fall on my shoulders and there is no relief.  There is no one to share the cute or amusing parenting moments with either.  That in itself can be a bit depressing and I really feel for those real single parents who battle those issues on a long-term basis.

However, as a short-term situation, I think it can be beneficial in some ways.  It forces me to step outside my gender roles and feel self-reliant.  Since having kids and being married, my husband and I, like many couples, share and divide household tasks.  We naturally take on certain jobs and it generally helps life move smoothly.  However, you get out of practice doing the things handled by your spouse and sometimes feel too dependent.  Who wants to step outside the box, though, and take on more work for the mere purpose of proving to yourself that you can.  I certainly have enough on my plate so why not let my spouse handle the things that come more easily to him?

Well, being forced to be a single mom for a week or so necessitates that I do those things.  It’s annoying at first, taking out the trash, doing the finances, sorting out computer problems for myself and the kids, etc.  They may not be daunting individual tasks but when you’re tired from your already full day, doing things that you’re no longer used to can take a little extra effort.  However, when it’s all done and I get a chance to reflect, I feel good about myself.  I feel independent and accomplished knowing that I can handle my life and my kids.  Of course I still miss my husband and want the kids to have their dad around but I want it because of the companionship, love and how we help each other grow.  I don’t feel a sense of co-dependency and that gives me a sense of pride.  I call it a superwoman moment!

I know that single parenting on a full-time basis is a lot more challenging.  At least I know eventually there will be help and someone to share my joy.  But this short-term experience does help me embrace a new challenge and grow a tiny bit each time.  Isn’t that what life is all about?

Posted in Inspiration, Life, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Vampire Diaries….compelling to watch!

Posted on February 10, 2012 by Reena

Though it’s a show based on teenagers and vampires, Vampire Diaries still has the ability to draw a more mature audience.  It is a great show that is actually much better than the books it is based on.  The setting is a very all-American town in Virginia where many of the residents are descendants of the founding fathers.  The drama comes from the fact that there are resident vampires as well.  The main vampire characters are two brothers, Damon and Stefan Salvatore and they happen to be in love with the same girl, Elena Gilbert.  Stefan is generally the more moral and caring brother while Damon stays more on the dark side.  Through the course of the story, however, these lines are blurred and the audience is no longer sure which is the good brother.

Every episode has a cliffhanger and keeps you wanting more.  It is great for those who love vampire stories but even those who like drama and romance.  The actors do a good job in their roles and being on CW, most everyone on the show is good-looking.  Even though many of the characters are in high school, they seem and behave much older.  That part reminds me of 90210 but there is less glitz and a more traditional feel to this group.  Here you’ll find the characters dancing the waltz in ball gowns and tuxedos instead of in bikinis at pool parties.  The writing is very creative and incorporates stories of witches and werewolves as well.  All the fantasy elements are mixed in well with normal emotions and struggles in families and relationships of all types. Vampire Diaries is truly a guilty pleasure!

Posted in Fantasy, Television | Leave a comment

How do you stay upbeat when everything seems to be going wrong?

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Reena

You are having the craziest week. You don’t have a major life crisis though. No one has died or lost their job but all the little things are adding up. It seems like the world is conspiring against you.

Your chronic knee pain is acting up so you avoid the gym and various normal tasks. This in turn makes you feel bad because you’re not working off that extra cookie you ate since you’re also PMSing.  You’re in a migraine daze but trying to do your regular duties. However, you’re not focused so burn your hand while making dinner.  Just what you needed.  Grateful that it’s not very serious, you slowly continue with dinner.

Your kids have no concept of what’s going on with you so they carry on in their regular craziness. In fact, they appear to be fighting more than usual and keep hounding you with complaints. Your tolerance is low since you are battling this nagging pain and burn. You just want them to do their homework without whining and eat without fussing.  This doesn’t happen. It’s not their fault. It’s a normal day for them and they don’t get that it’s not for you. Of course, your husband is going to be late from work so you have no relief. You can’t go curl up in a ball like you want to. You continue the routine and get the kids to bed.

Ahhh…now you can properly mope and feel sorry for yourself.  Though the rest helps a little, your mood doesn’t improve. You feel you deserve a pity party. Yet, you have your mom’s nagging voice in your head saying ‘be positive’ and your friend’s motto chanting ’embrace the chaos’. Well I don’t feel like it. I’ve had a crappy day.

After a few moments of lonely moping you realize that’s not helping either. Maybe your mom is right. So you try to do something to
distract from the pain and miseries and make yourself happy. You read a book and talk to a friend. Suddenly you’re thinking of other things and at least some time has gone by without feeling pain. You get some perspective, hear about someone else’s problems, realize you’re loved.  Tomorrow is another day. Guess what, pity party’s over….for now anyway!

Posted in Inspiration, Life, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Moneyball & Descendants- Oscar worthy & Viewer worthy too…

Posted on February 7, 2012 by Reena

So with the Oscars approaching later this month, there is a lot of buzz about the nominated movies.  Some of these movies are more commercial but others we may not have even heard of until the nominations came out.  I love to watch movies but there is only so much time and money to spend on them.  Therefore I don’t get to them all.  I try my best to wait for the ones that get good reviews, star actors I like or have an interesting story line.  If I’m lucky, I get them all.

One of the nominated movies that I really enjoyed was “Moneyball“.  It stars Brad Pitt (also the producer) and is based on a true story.  Brad brilliantly plays the role of Billy Beane who is the general manager of the Oakland A’s.  He has the tough task of managing a team that is struggling without the resources of the richer teams and he’s desperate to make a change.  He finds an unlikely partner in Peter Brand (played by Jonah Hill), an Ivy League grad who believes in a new way of scouting.  Together they go against the system with this revolutionary approach of picking underrated, bargain players who have the ability to get on base and score runs.  They get a lot of resistance from the baseball world as they seemingly assemble a team of misfits and put their careers on the line while trying to change the system.  It’s a story about the struggle of the main characters and of an underdog team.  You don’t have to be a baseball fan to enjoy it.  I really did!

Another Oscar nominated movie that I would recommend is “The Descendants” starring George Clooney.  Clooney does an amazing job in the role of Matt King.  We follow Matt as he deals with several crises in his life.  Firstly, he is pressured with negotiating a land deal on behalf of his extended family who are all descendants of Hawaiian royalty and own 25,000 acres of inherited land.  At the same time, his personal life is turned upside down when his wife has a boating accident and lands in a coma.  An otherwise uninvolved father, he is suddenly trying to deal with his 2 daughters and get through this tough time together.  To add to his struggles, his teenage daughter informs him that his wife had been cheating on him.  Nothing in his life makes sense and he battles against this lack of control.  The movie mixes hilarious moments with tragic emotions and is very relatable.  Clooney is transformed into this character and does a great job expressing the complex emotions throughout.

I love both these actors and truly enjoyed both movies.  I wish them well for the awards and can’t wait for Oscar night.  Check them out if you get the chance!

Posted in Fun, Movies | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Superbowl- An Awesome Event!

Posted on February 6, 2012 by Reena

So as I mentioned, I don’t generally keep up with football but make a habit of always watching the Superbowl.  Well, it was definitely worth it!  It didn’t hurt, of course, that our home team won.  However, the game was great to watch for so many more reasons than the outcome.  The two teams were well matched so that it kept us on the edge of our seats the whole time.  It can get very boring when one team is stellar and the other is making a lot of mistakes or just isn’t playing so well that day.  You start assuming the winner early on and then people like me get distracted.  Last night was nothing like that.  Both the Giants and the Patriots played well and through the last minute there was potential for  a surprise.

The other part of the event that made it great entertainment was the great half-time show.  Madonna‘s performance was awesome and was put together like a great concert.  It had cool special effects, costume changes, and great dancers.  I may be biased because I grew up loving Madonna so there was definitely a nostalgic effect.  Though I think it was more than that and even for the younger crowd, the guest performances by LMFAO, MIA, and Nikki Minaj made it cool and up to date.  I know my kids had a more pumped up reaction when those singers joined in!  This was a much better half-time show than I’ve seen in quite a while.

I of course love watching the commercials during the game as well.  They are usually fun and creative and keep you glued to the TV the whole time.  I must say that my favorite one this time was the M&Ms ad.  It was cute and hilarious.  There were many others too.  I think a lot of the underrated car companies are doing a much better company making their cars seem cooler with modern, memorable ads.

Last but not least is the best part of the Superbowl, the social aspect.  It is a nice excuse to get together with people.  Even in the subsequent days it brings people together with random conversations of the game.  For all the true football fans it is the climax of a season and they get to look forward to the fun and possibilities of the next one.  For people like me, it is a fun American tradition that I enjoy being a part of!!!

Posted in Life, Social, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Why are we Falling Apart??

Posted on February 3, 2012 by Reena

Our generation looks good for our age but do we feel as good physically?  Many of my friends and  I have been dealing with various health issues that we feel we are too young to have.  Whether it be joint problems, ulcers, high blood pressure, diabetes or migraines, it seems too much for our age.  Though our genes do account for some of these issues, it seems that we are getting them sooner than our parents or grandparents may have.  My orthopedist told me of my arthritis that “it comes earlier in each generation”.  Just great!

I often wonder if it is our diet and lack of exercise that is contributing to these issues.  I mean in this generation we don’t have to churn our butter or bake our bread before we eat it.  That means it’s easier to eat all kinds of foods without the effort to cook it that may have changed our minds.  If prepared goods weren’t so easy to obtain, I’m sure we would eat less junk.  An apple would be an easier snack then than a cookie that needed baking or chips that required frying.  But, in our times, there is a reason all these prepared foods are so critical.  This is because life has gotten so hectic and fast-paced that some of us wouldn’t have time to eat at all if these conveniences didn’t exist.

This brings me to my second thought on why we are falling apart earlier than our ancestors.  Stress.  Many jobs these days allow you to telecommute since people require more flexibility to be there for kids or to pursue other activities.  Luckily our improved level of technology allows us to do this but it all comes with a price.  This ability to connect remotely often means that employees are expected to always be ‘on’ and this leads to the demise of work/home separation.

I don’t remember my parents doing work all night after they fed us and took care of our needs.  They were tired after a full day at work and the challenges of home life but at least they were able to disconnect from the former and focus purely on family.  Our current lifestyle of always having work in the back of our minds, I believe leads to more stress.

In addition to these things, we are always multitasking even in our free time.  We often watch TV in the background while browsing the internet and checking emails.  This means our brains are doing three different tasks even while we are so-called relaxing.  These days it seems ‘downtime’ is frowned upon and those who still enjoy it are considered lazy.  I think these ‘lazy’ people are probably doing the right thing by resting their minds and bodies occasionally.  Too much of a good thing can be bad for you.  I compare it to the notion that being clean and organized are generally good but if a person can’t stop cleaning or organizing they are labeled as having OCD- a disorder.

Bottom line is that I think we are progressing as a society but many of us are losing our health or peace of mind in the process.  We need to improve our diet, rest our minds and exercise our bodies.  Maybe this would be a step toward being a sturdier generation with less ailments.  OK, off to my doctor’s appointment……

Posted in Health, Life | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

How do we keep up with social media and our online friendships?

Posted on February 1, 2012 by Reena

In an age of email, IM, Facebook, Twitter, blogs, how do we keep things organized and avoid social media overload?  These days many of our friends are people we rarely see in person but follow regularly online.  Whether it be from reading their tweets or looking at their pictures on Flickr, we are suddenly part of a huge network.  Many argue that these relationships are not as real or as valuable as the old-school talking or getting together types.  In part, I agree but I still think these new online relationships are a part of our changing times and deserve to be fostered in their own right.  Usually these online friends are not complete strangers but people we met a couple of times or old friends that we are reconnecting with.  Regardless of how we met, we obviously found them interesting enough to want them in our lives to some degree.

The problem with having hundreds of friends then becomes making time to keep up with their lives, even if that is merely reading a daily status.  Today I found myself trying to scroll through Facebook and like or comment to my friends, read interesting tweets from those I follow on Twitter, reply to any personal emails, and then checkout my blog and read and reply to any comments on WordPress.  My head is suddenly spinning from things that are not even part of my daily responsibilities.  Because these things have to be squeezed in between our normal workload, we’re often catching up while on our smartphones (hopefully not while driving) or multitasking while doing other things.

Suddenly we know all kinds of stuff about the lives of our online friends or followers but have possibly overwhelmed our own.  With social networking and our online world, we have made our lives more social but also more hectic.  In our parents’ generation, socializing was a way to relax while catching up with friends.  Though social networking doesn’t require you to cook a meal and clean up for guests it is often not as relaxing either.  It keeps you from feeling completely lonely but doesn’t give you the full satisfaction of connecting with a friend.  I guess there needs to be a balance.  But, how does one keep up with it all???

Posted in Life, Social | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Superbowl- for the non-football fans…

Posted on February 1, 2012 by Reena

Like many others I know, I’m not a fan of watching football.  However, once a year I get really excited to watch a full game.  That game would be the Superbowl!  Is it because of the half-time show, the parties, the fun commercials?  Well, those help but I actually do enjoy watching the sport on this one Sunday of the year.

I think that part of the reason is that it is an all-American tradition for an all-American sport.  It is something that brings friends and family together with food, fun, and a bit of healthy competition.  The alcohol doesn’t hurt either.

Out of respect to this tradition, I feel its good to learn some background on the teams, the top players and know the basics of the game.  This way I enjoy watching the sport and don’t ruin it for the true fans by asking ignorant questions while they’re concentrating on a play.  Years ago, I had a girlfriend at work who would fill me in as the playoffs progressed so I’d be ready.  Now, I have to keep up with tidbits on my own.

This year is especially exciting since it is our local team and one that I grew up hearing my brother cheer for.  Therefore, I consider myself a Giants fan and will root for them over the Patriots.  A tough match-up since both teams have three Superbowl wins.  It should be a good game though and hopefully the Giants win over New England like they did in 2008.  So will it be Eli Manning and Cruz over Tom Brady and Ochocinco?  I hope so.  But, whoever you’re cheering for, enjoy the company, the drinks, the fatty food, Madonna, the game and most of all the tradition!!!!!

Posted in Fun, Television | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where does the day go?

Posted on February 1, 2012 by Reena

Being a stay-at-home mom, I always have high expectations of all the things I’m going to accomplish during my day.  Sadly though, I rarely live up to those lofty expectations.  After sending the kids off to school, there is a little bit of time for laundry, emails, paperwork, etc before I go out.  Then I try to make it to the gym and run a couple of errands, or volunteer at the school.  Throw a doctor’s appointment in there and it seems I’m suddenly scrambling.  Now it is almost time for the bus and I’m racing through traffic to make it back home.

And, once the kids are home the chaos doubles.  Suddenly I’m a short order cook for snacks, a homework helper and referee to their fighting.  Add to all this an activity and suddenly the evening is gone.  Now I’m wracking my brain for a healthy meal option that will appeal to adult taste buds, not be offensive to the kids, and can be made in 30 minutes.  OK, clean up, time for bath and send them off to bed.  Now argue with them for an extra hour on and off since they are not yet sleepy and keep coming out for bathroom or water breaks.

Finally, kids to sleep….make lunches and snacks for tomorrow and get their clothes out.  Yaay!  Now I can watch tv and read and maybe write in my blog. Or, maybe I’m too tired and sleepy to do anything…..where did my day go???

Posted in Life, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yaay! A great new show- “Touch”

Posted on February 1, 2012 by Reena

So Keifer Sutherland seems to have done it again in picking a great show to star in.  ”Touch”, a new show on Fox that is made by Tim Kring, the creator of Heroes, seems to have a lot of promise.  Keifer plays a very different role than we were used to as a caring father of an emotionally challenged son Jake (David Mazouz).  Jake seems to have an uncanny ability to see the future through numbers and patterns in the world that people of normal intelligence do not notice.  Keifer realizes his son’s gift and sees it as an opportunity to stop bad things from happening.  He also sees it as an opportunity to connect in some way to the 11 year old son who never speaks or allows himself to be touched.  This adds a very emotional element to a show that is otherwise science fiction based.  An additional emotional layer stems from Keifer being a single working class father who lost his wife in the towers on 9/11.

The episode this past week was more of a sneak peak since the show will properly start airing in March.  All I can say is, “I can’t wait!” and I’m very happy to have a new, intelligent show with a creative storyline and good acting.  I’m sure many of you will love it too!

Posted in Television | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment