Today, on my birthday, I received the best gift ever. My boys wrote lovely and thoughtful notes in my card. I know my boys love me and we have a great relationship but they are typical guys who don’t like to talk about feelings and definitely don’t want to write about them. They just say ‘you know I love you and you’re the best’. And while it’s true that I do know they love me, I’m a sap and I like to hear about the hows and whys.
I love my boys but can’t say I’m not a little envious of the moms of girls who come home and tell them all about their days. I remember telling my mom all kinds of stories in detail. She knew all about my friends and what was going on at school. My guys do talk but it takes a lot to get them started. They don’t seem to respond to ‘what did you do today?’. That gets a response of ‘nothing’ or ‘I don’t remember’. It takes a lot of creative questions to get them in a comfortable zone where they will start chatting. Sometimes, then they keep talking more than I expected.
These are my favorite memories with them because I want to feel connected to them. That is not always easy when you’re interested in different things and spend most of the day apart. One night, my older son wasn’t feeling well and had insomnia, so I told him he could hang out in my room until he felt sleepy. That night, while the others slept, we talked for over an hour about all kinds of random things. We discussed sports and girls and books and life. I even got to give him advice without getting an eye roll!
They are growing up and cuddling isn’t enough. We have to communicate to connect and that’s not always easy. But I’m loving the little men they are becoming and enjoying their minds and thoughts. They gave me the best birthday with their very personal notes and their fun gifts. Wonder Woman earrings and a Lord of the Rings necklace…gifts based on things we enjoyed together and talk about often. I’m so grateful to be able to parent these loving kids!