Can’t Complain About Chronic Pain

sympathy, health, pain, pain management“Oh, you’re not feeling well? (Again)”  The ‘Again’ is the main reaction rather than sympathy for someone with a chronic sickness or problem.  I know the feeling to some extent since I’ve been struggling with some cervical spine issues that cause long-term pain.  Luckily I’m not dying from this and I can carry on with my life, mostly.  However, my activities are limited by the pain and nausea.  I’ve tried all different types of treatments from holistic to invasive and have taken all kinds of meds.  All these things have helped a bit but nothing has brought major improvement.  So, I carry on with life but I notice that I can’t be a victim anymore.  My time limit is up.

I’ve noticed through my own experience and through that of friends, that people generally have a short attention span or window for sympathy.  They can genuinely care about you but after a while they want things to snap back to normal.  I can totally understand this feeling because I’ve been on both sides of this equation.  It’s hard to be around someone who is always complaining or bringing the mood down.  It can drain those around them even if that is not what they intend.  Suddenly the person who was the sympathizer starts feeling frustrated and sorry for themselves and that leaves no energy to feel sorry for the victim.

Quite often a person with a common cold will garner more sympathy and attention than someone who has been suffering chronically.  People are good at short-term sympathy.  This probably explains why when there is a tragic event like an earthquake that kills many, people all rally to donate and help in the beginning.  After a month or so however, all this help dwindles and though people will feel sad when talking about the tragedy, they are no longer ready to alter their regular lives to help out.  I guess human nature expects that you help someone get up when they have fallen but you can’t be their crutch.  Maybe that forces people to become self-sufficient despite their circumstances but it can be really tough.  Well whatever the reasons, I still feel for those with long-term troubles or chronic pains and I hope they don’t lose their support before they can stand on their own.

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About Reena

I'm a stay-at-home/sometimes working mom who has lots of opinions on Entertainment, Books, Parenting and Life in general! My thoughts stem from my experiences as a former career professional, mom, wife, and as a wacky, wonderful, woman! Friends have told me for years to share my thoughts publicly about the latest movies and TV shows so I finally am but I have lots of other thoughts to share so now I ramble here...
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4 Responses to Can’t Complain About Chronic Pain

  1. sheenaarshadtrijillo says:

    I hear you ? something else happen today?

    On Tue, Nov 27, 2012 at 2:47 PM, reenasramb

    Like

  2. mamacravings says:

    This is the absolute truth. Thank you for sharing this. It’s so easy to be callous or “busy” and not to take the time to chronically love ones in chronic pain. My brother is chronically ill…well, he has long-term, special needs issues after a brain tumor. As his sister, I find myself getting short with him over things that cannot possibly be helped. Thank you for the reminder to be patient as long as he needs it.

    Like

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